read at your own risk

when your day goes something like THIS:

wake up twice to sore back and try to fall back asleep only to be woken additionally by 2 different screaming children.
child #1 - needs his binky.
child #2 - screaming because the wrong blanket is in his crib (mean mother i am covered him up with a warmer one when he was asleep when i should clearly know he will ONLY go to bed with receiving blankets) - yeah, i wish i were joking
shower
dress
help get children freshly diapered/dressed
go to last OB appointment
pray/wish/fantasize she will check me and find that i am in labor
discover there has been no change in a weeks time
get disappointed to hear that my extremely swollen ankles dont really concern her (sure she's seen worse....)
go home
discover mouse turds in lazy susan
take out all food and pile it on already crowded counter top
say goodbye to daddy
attempt to crochet to relax away contractions (nothing seems to be coming of them anyway), while breaking up fights
direct cleanups
discover thad is alone
find him upstairs in master bathroom with a can of peanuts
take him downstairs
attempt to crotchet again, but feel guilty for not folding those 3 loads of laundry waiting for me downtairs
go down to fold
break up fights
direct cleanups
discover thad is alone
find him in the kitchen covered in baking cocoa
strip him and put him in a contained area
clean up mess
make lunch
clean up lunch
break up fights
direct cleanups
discover thad and sheppy are alone together
sheppy is reading, thad is messing with the comcast cable box and playing with the wii
attempt to seperate and redirect as i try to block off access
warm up bottles (don't judge me now....)
get megersa on potty and clean up lunch
discover thad has found said bottles and spilled one all over kitchen floor
put kids to bed
find crayon on the wall
scrub off what i can
paint over area with tiny bit of leftover paint
put movie on for cale (yet another few days off of school)
come in kitchen and try to will myself to eat before i collapse in exhaustion.........................................................................

then you need something like THIS for a laugh:
changing sheppy's diaper on the floor yesterday i wonder if i should discuss the difference between girls and boys (strictly inside the diaper)...
causally mention my thoughts to tim and get his approval to give the basics "boys and girls have different privates"
tell cale exactly that and that his sister wont look the same as him
hear this and die laughing:
"yeah, i know.....it looks like a line, right?"
 trying to contain my excitement for getting out of this anatomy and physiology lesson so easily, i give him a thumbs up and say: "YEP!"

a little bit too stinky

Yeah...that's right.
This blog post is gonna be about poop.
No...the twins aren't potty trained.

I write because my brain can only handle so much information, and sometimes it's annoying to realize so much of that space is being taken up by the daily poop routines around here!! ;)
Sure every adult human takes care of their own "business"...but is that an accomplishment?
Hardly.
Fact is, I happen to have an extensive knowledge of not only everyone's poop preferences - but their timing and peculiarities about it.

For instance:
The twins ALWAYS go in the morning.  Tim and I hope it's in their diaper when we get them out of the crib...for the sole purpose of saving money on diapers and to change 2 less later.  Sometimes they even go again before nap. 
But it's a one poop minimum before nap-time approaches.
If they don't reach their goal then they'll stay in their cribs awake until they go...and if that happens they usually don't go to sleep.
 More often than not, we'll have another dirty diaper change during the afternoon/evening...but we don't look out for it as much as that first morning BM.
Thad can go for what seems like an eternity with a dump in his pants (couldn't be bothered to be changed), then all the sudden start freaking out and running at me screaming "Mommy! MOMMY" as he tries to climb in my lap (presumably so I can smell the offense).  Apparently when he's had enough, he's had enough.  Or when he's ready, he's ready...whichever saying you prefer.
Sheppy has just recently started sharing with us when he poops.   Instead of telling us before, or accurately for that matter - he'll poo, then come over to us...point at his butt and say "pee-pee."
It's a step in the right direction, and pretty funny to boot.
Has me thinking he'll be easier to potty train when WE'RE ready for that challenge.......... ;)

Since Cale takes care of wiping himself, I'm not totally aware of his "schedule" - except for when he makes his loud announcements - waiting until the last minute...then comes running out of nowhere, holding his bottom screaming "I GOTTA GO POOPY REAL BAD!!"
Cale hates an audience, but always ends up leaving the door open.  He starts getting all crazy about anyone looking at him...
Problem could be easily solved: SHUT. THE. DOOR!
Come on, it's an unpleasant sight no matter who's on the throne, am I right?

Megersa loves company. When we were first training him,  he and Cale would have poop-parties, which I'm certain he enjoyed.  He welcomes people into the bathroom with him..."Mommy!  Sheppy came in to talk to me!  Thad wants to read this book with me..." and taking time to have deep discussions with Cale about which one of them loves sea creatures more. 
M always goes in the morning, and often time directly before or after nap.  He usually goes twice a day.  No...he doesn't wipe himself yet.  ....Oh he'll TRY...but we certainly don't let him out until we approve (it's in the near future, right??  *sigh*).
Megersa loves to play while he's on the potty.  He smuggles toys and books in the bathroom and makes up his own scenarios for his motorcycles or "reads" his books out loud.  For a period of time there he would start singing when he was actually going.
Unfortunately now he's getting a little more vivid about his descriptions -heard this one tonight:
"Mommy, all my poop isn't coming out at once.  I squeezed it - I tried to get it out, but it won't come!" 
Lovely, no?

Lastly, I happen to know when the adults in this family go...because in addition to my own schedule, it almost needs to be something planned.  We need to clock in and out of parenting before we take a "time-out" for ourselves. Tim would request his plea for a bathroom break to me and I once said "hey - you don't need to tell me when you have to go - just go."  - but the more mischievous kids we have who seize any unsupervised opportunity, the more detail-oriented our lives become.
"Yes darling, you may take the next 5-15 minutes in the bathroom alone to do what normal people don't think twice about doing...thank you for holding it until they are in their high chairs for lunch."
;)

AND...there ya go.
Are we ready to learn and experience yet another person's poop routine/needs I wonder?
I certainly hope so...because if not, we're gonna be one of those families with at least one very stinky kid.