read at your own risk

when your day goes something like THIS:

wake up twice to sore back and try to fall back asleep only to be woken additionally by 2 different screaming children.
child #1 - needs his binky.
child #2 - screaming because the wrong blanket is in his crib (mean mother i am covered him up with a warmer one when he was asleep when i should clearly know he will ONLY go to bed with receiving blankets) - yeah, i wish i were joking
shower
dress
help get children freshly diapered/dressed
go to last OB appointment
pray/wish/fantasize she will check me and find that i am in labor
discover there has been no change in a weeks time
get disappointed to hear that my extremely swollen ankles dont really concern her (sure she's seen worse....)
go home
discover mouse turds in lazy susan
take out all food and pile it on already crowded counter top
say goodbye to daddy
attempt to crochet to relax away contractions (nothing seems to be coming of them anyway), while breaking up fights
direct cleanups
discover thad is alone
find him upstairs in master bathroom with a can of peanuts
take him downstairs
attempt to crotchet again, but feel guilty for not folding those 3 loads of laundry waiting for me downtairs
go down to fold
break up fights
direct cleanups
discover thad is alone
find him in the kitchen covered in baking cocoa
strip him and put him in a contained area
clean up mess
make lunch
clean up lunch
break up fights
direct cleanups
discover thad and sheppy are alone together
sheppy is reading, thad is messing with the comcast cable box and playing with the wii
attempt to seperate and redirect as i try to block off access
warm up bottles (don't judge me now....)
get megersa on potty and clean up lunch
discover thad has found said bottles and spilled one all over kitchen floor
put kids to bed
find crayon on the wall
scrub off what i can
paint over area with tiny bit of leftover paint
put movie on for cale (yet another few days off of school)
come in kitchen and try to will myself to eat before i collapse in exhaustion.........................................................................

then you need something like THIS for a laugh:
changing sheppy's diaper on the floor yesterday i wonder if i should discuss the difference between girls and boys (strictly inside the diaper)...
causally mention my thoughts to tim and get his approval to give the basics "boys and girls have different privates"
tell cale exactly that and that his sister wont look the same as him
hear this and die laughing:
"yeah, i know.....it looks like a line, right?"
 trying to contain my excitement for getting out of this anatomy and physiology lesson so easily, i give him a thumbs up and say: "YEP!"