heavy

No, I'm not talking about me.
Or my kids.
Or Tim. ;)

Just a few of the past weeks.
Tim's work schedule has been different - that throws me out of wack.  So many of you ask how I "do it?"  Well, routine plays a giant role in it.  Sure, we mix things up a bit - movie nights, ordering pizza, or doing a bonfire...but really, things have been very much the same over the past few months.  Adjusting to a new person will do that.
The kids don't seem to mind.  They live by their structure...and it makes the extra special things - like getting a NEW (free, used) PLAYGROUND...very very exciting!
I prayed for that playground, and God delivered.  As He always does. :)

-Back to the heaviness.
A family in our church lost their little girl 11 days ago.  Heartbreaking.
Part of me wishes I didn't have to know them...didn't have to try to put myself in their shoes, because it's painful and almost too sad.  But that's not fair.  We need to hurt along with them.  Even when we can't be physically with them, we can lift them in prayer and share their story.
Their baby was a 2 year old little girl, adopted from Ethiopia.
...definitely close to our hearts...
felt a little too close.
She was beautiful, and is now enjoying her peace in Heaven with Jesus.

I've watched my husband transform over these past few weeks.
Prior to this, he had not performed a funeral.  It was all new to him...but not the fun kind of new - like learning to ride a bike.  The sad, grieving, panic new. 
Does the term "rise to the occasion" resonate with you?  For sure...but he also rose up with humility.  Like any challenge God presents him with, Tim is willing and able to walk through it.
...And this was a tough one.  Sometimes it doesn't FEEL like I'm a pastor's wife, but when my pastor husband helps a family through something like this, it wakes me up, and I ruffle my pride feathers - because I got me a good one! :)
I've got so much respect for my man 'of the call!' ;)

.......Sometimes Tim and I joke about how different our lives would be if we had ended up with a past interest. Do you ever did that?
Just for fun of course... :)
Who would it have been?  What sort of work would he do...what about hobbies?
Would we have a bunch of kids?  Where would we live....
I'm glad the conclusion is that I DON'T have to think on it for more than a few seconds.  Because I know that none of those answers would be even close to as good as the ones I have now.

Completely in love with my husband.
...With my sons.
...With my daughter.

And while heavy times may come and go, rooting us in reality and the fallen world we live in...
In those moments God gives us glimpses of things that make us grateful for who we are and what He's allowed us to have and experience.