the middle hours of the day

For the most part, the littles seem to welcome nap time.
Which I really appreciate....
When Cale's not in school his "quiet time" is usually not very quiet (unless he's engrossed in a movie), but that's not what we're talking about here...

Strictly before nap is lunchtime and that is usually a whirlwind of trying to get enough food on my kids plates (the twins dont eat much breakfast for whatever reason, so by 11:30 they are cranky and apparently "starved")... It is by far the most quickly eaten meal, so I'm in always a rush to get enough food, but not too much before they start throwing their sippy cups and trying to wiggle out of their highchairs.  Long ago, I stopped trying to eat when they eat, because it's pretty much useless...by the time I get their food on their trays and go back to make my own, they're done and want OUT!
I should really time the process...from when they climb in their chairs to when they are out.  I swear it's gotta be about 15 minutes MAX (for the twins I mean...Megersa could sit in his chair all day)!!
So, then it's the prep for bed.  Wiping hands/faces...brushing teeth, getting milk ready...having M poop on the potty...new diapers, finding favorite blankets, binkies and "babies"........  Its like a marathon running up and down the steps with each child.  But I get giddy with excitement when I close those doors.  As I take my final walk down the steps I usually breathe a sigh of relief out loud.
And when I sit down to eat my lunch Neve kicks me, to let me know that I've woken her by sitting and also to make sure I'm not completely "alone" in my silence. ;)
When I'm full I usually do a few things...pick up around the house, maybe switch out a load of laundry or run the dishwasher...but then the anticipation sets in, as I march up the steps in hopes to find sleeping children. Most days the kids fall asleep without a problem, but there are some days where one of them can't seem to settle and I need to reinforce my position on nap time.
"Lay down.  No talking.  Close your eyes."  ...That's a stressor.  I know they need sleep, but they fight it.  I can't imagine why...
There are a few days that I don't nap myself, but those days are rare...  Because even if I get lost in a show I haven't watched on Hulu, or my creative side pulls me in to a project, after about an hour at most I feel wiped.  Pregnancy and care of young children will do that to ya I guess.
On the good days that no one makes a peep and I creep in their room to take a closer look. I'm always overcome with love.  ((When they're already asleep I mean.... ;)) 
So peaceful, so beautiful, so darling!!
Honestly, sometimes I wanna just scoop each one of them up and smooch on them...but I dare not.
Shepherd might be okay with some petting, because he is the one who required the most hands-on soothing in the past.  Thad will let me play with his hair a little bit, but he usually can tell right away if I come in and will open his eyes or try to get up to see what's going on, so I usually just peek in on him.  And Megersa??  I must be careful not to walk on the wrong floorboards in case they creak and wake him up!
...Even on sleeping days I get anxious wondering when the silence will break.  Sometimes it hinders my own ability to fall asleep.  "What was that noise?  Is he awake?  I wonder if I should go check on them again..."
If I do fall asleep, I usually feel refreshed (once I can pull myself out of bed), but on days like yesterday where I woke up, looked at the clock to read 2:30p then fell right back to sleep until after 3p - I feel totally zonked.  I stumbled out of bed and realize at least one, if not 2 or 3 of them are already awake and starting to get irritated. 
And with the flick of a switch, round 3 begins. 

mischief managed

Okay, so here's the story.  This past Saturday I had meant to take Sheppy to the Urgent Care to get his eyes checked.  Turns out they close really early, so we decided on Sunday after naptime.  That left Tim to take the other 3 with him back to church in the evening and do what he needs to do with the teens.  So, Shep and I went and came back.  

He's got pink-eye in both eyes...and it's simply miserable.  Poor little buddy.  

At any rate, I figured a little Blues Clues would cheer him up.

All my boys like to sit on the coffee table and watch the show.  So, he climbed up there and was quiet as a mouse.

I sat in the kitchen cleaning up, making dinner...or doing something.

....too quiet.

I come in to find Sheppy playing with Vaseline.

Of course as any good parent would, I decided that getting the camera out to video him surely takes prescidence over cleaning him up...

cale's friends

With a school-aged child, we've been getting a lot of new friend's around the house.
Various shapes and sizes...they all go by the same name: germs.

First it was the flu - which caught hold of 1/2 our family.
Tim, Cale & Shepherd.


That was rough, but thankfully it didn't last too long...
Then he brought home "the cold that never ends" - that was about several weeks ago, and seriously, I think Tim got it the longest.  What a pain!
Those germs took out 5 out of the 6 of us.
Megersa ended up missing both!  That kid has a hearty immune system!

Now we've got pink eye.

 Currently the twins have it - and man it looks painful.  You know when your eyes start to water just looking at someone else's?  Oh, yeah, I got that.
So far the adults have been spared.  Megersa had it last week for a day or two, and I feel like Cale had it awhile back....but I can't remember exactly.

It's craziness around here.
Tim and I are battling colds now, but thankfully our eyes are still the right color...

Who knows what else the flu season will bring....hopefully just snow. :)

school status update

Like most of my posts - this one had been started prior to today.
I sometimes like to at least get the title of the post going so that I know what I've been meaning to write about. 
The intention was just to brag on how much Cale has grown in the past few weeks and months, and to state the fun little things he's been learning or doing in relation to school.
...but yesterday that bliss came to a halt.

My son stepped off the bus with a grin from ear to ear.
He was a "Star Student"...and was rewarded with a sticker.
There was no fear in his eyes or uncontrollable crying stating how he'd never wanna ever go back to his school.
His world is a bubble, and I am thankful that his 5-year-old mind does not need to question right now the depravity of man.
But we do. 
And I'm sure all of the parents everywhere but Connecticut awaited their school children with anxious breath, eager to wrap them in a giant hug as they stepped off the bus.

When I read that mainly Kindergarteners...babies like my Cale, were amongst the large number of the dead I could barely breathe.
Even today I can only allow myself to think of this tragedy in tiny little bursts...because my fellas at home need a functioning mother, not one who cannot stop weeping.
But the littles are all down for naps now, and Cale is plugged in to a Christmas movie.
So my brain is free, and my heart is heavy.

The weight of the sin of the world comes crashing in....
God is good.  He orchestrates all things in our lives - do not forget that.
...But he DOES NOT cause us to sin.
Sin is human.
This shooter was human...and in my opinion one of the worst kinds of humans.

I started to form this post in my head while my older sons were playing "bad guys."  No specific persons in mind, just "people who are bad...do bad things."  ...I heard them saying how they will kill these bad guys.  So I took the opportunity to teach them.  We talked...and as simple as I kept it for them to understand that Jesus commands us in the Bible "Do Not Kill'"....I couldn't help but say it without a bitter taste in my mouth.
If it had been MY son at his school......I'm sure I wouldn't be thinking rationally. 
But we need to teach our children that God can redeem any person.
...even a bad guy.  Even someone who kills.
Because God loves them...  He even loved that killer and is even more devastated than we are by this.

This horrific event doesn't make me question God...though I can understand those who do.
Above all it makes me thank God that it wasn't my child.  That it could have just as easily happened to Yellow Springs Elementary and it COULD have been my son.  But I praise God it wasn't.  I get on my knees and plead even harder for the safety of my children.  I try to swallow the lump in my throat and lift up the families of the lost.  I force myself to look at the faces of the people in the pictures...urge myself to live in this world and feel its ache.
I will not pretend my world is full of marshmallows today.

I think we need to talk about it.  To rally around the idea that even at Christmas, this world is fallen.  To take into reality our lives and how fragile they are. To live a life as fully devoted followers of God.  To BRING God into these conversations and defend Him.  To wake up...  To stop complaining about everything that doesn't go our way and to hold tight to the most precious of all gifts - life.
God's life he's given us...but more importantly the lives he's entrusted to us.
Because ultimately, they are His.

God is in control.  But people are lost.  Their sin...our sin pollutes everything.
From a solitary thought that goes astray...to the actions that lead to death.
There is always a progression...but God did NOT cause that.

I don't know how I feel about telling Cale what happened...it's too real to his 5-year-old life. 
I'm not sure he could wrap his head around it today...or tomorrow...or even this year.
His heart is the most fragile of my children it seems his fears take over him.
I think we'll wait.

But even for that I am grateful...that we have that opportunity to shield our children's minds from this world.

Thank you God for sparing my child...I pray these families experience the "peace that passes all understanding."
And I pray unashamed...selfishly...desperately that in this lifetime I will never have to bury one of my children.

Thanksgiving 2012

 

We went to Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving.
Though my mom has made a few changes to the home I grew up in...it really was like going through a time warp as I opened her door.
A 3 1/2 hour drive painfully turned into 5 1/2 - complete with stand-still traffic and many stops to pee and poop.  But, we made it.
The kids had a lot of fun with their cousins and it was great not to have to cook for the weekend!! :)
Above are some of the pics - the big family one has my sister Elizabeth, her husband Chris and their 3 girls - Heather (whom Cale swears he's gonna marry), Tessa and Gwyneth.  My brother Chet and his new wife Jolyn are on the right side in the back.  Grammie taking her usual spot in the middle, surrounded by her grandkids.
We spent Thanksgiving day with my Dad, and got another big family pic of the group there - sadly I don't have that one.
Still though...here is documented proof of our trip. :)  Another memory for 2012.