the middle hours of the day

For the most part, the littles seem to welcome nap time.
Which I really appreciate....
When Cale's not in school his "quiet time" is usually not very quiet (unless he's engrossed in a movie), but that's not what we're talking about here...

Strictly before nap is lunchtime and that is usually a whirlwind of trying to get enough food on my kids plates (the twins dont eat much breakfast for whatever reason, so by 11:30 they are cranky and apparently "starved")... It is by far the most quickly eaten meal, so I'm in always a rush to get enough food, but not too much before they start throwing their sippy cups and trying to wiggle out of their highchairs.  Long ago, I stopped trying to eat when they eat, because it's pretty much useless...by the time I get their food on their trays and go back to make my own, they're done and want OUT!
I should really time the process...from when they climb in their chairs to when they are out.  I swear it's gotta be about 15 minutes MAX (for the twins I mean...Megersa could sit in his chair all day)!!
So, then it's the prep for bed.  Wiping hands/faces...brushing teeth, getting milk ready...having M poop on the potty...new diapers, finding favorite blankets, binkies and "babies"........  Its like a marathon running up and down the steps with each child.  But I get giddy with excitement when I close those doors.  As I take my final walk down the steps I usually breathe a sigh of relief out loud.
And when I sit down to eat my lunch Neve kicks me, to let me know that I've woken her by sitting and also to make sure I'm not completely "alone" in my silence. ;)
When I'm full I usually do a few things...pick up around the house, maybe switch out a load of laundry or run the dishwasher...but then the anticipation sets in, as I march up the steps in hopes to find sleeping children. Most days the kids fall asleep without a problem, but there are some days where one of them can't seem to settle and I need to reinforce my position on nap time.
"Lay down.  No talking.  Close your eyes."  ...That's a stressor.  I know they need sleep, but they fight it.  I can't imagine why...
There are a few days that I don't nap myself, but those days are rare...  Because even if I get lost in a show I haven't watched on Hulu, or my creative side pulls me in to a project, after about an hour at most I feel wiped.  Pregnancy and care of young children will do that to ya I guess.
On the good days that no one makes a peep and I creep in their room to take a closer look. I'm always overcome with love.  ((When they're already asleep I mean.... ;)) 
So peaceful, so beautiful, so darling!!
Honestly, sometimes I wanna just scoop each one of them up and smooch on them...but I dare not.
Shepherd might be okay with some petting, because he is the one who required the most hands-on soothing in the past.  Thad will let me play with his hair a little bit, but he usually can tell right away if I come in and will open his eyes or try to get up to see what's going on, so I usually just peek in on him.  And Megersa??  I must be careful not to walk on the wrong floorboards in case they creak and wake him up!
...Even on sleeping days I get anxious wondering when the silence will break.  Sometimes it hinders my own ability to fall asleep.  "What was that noise?  Is he awake?  I wonder if I should go check on them again..."
If I do fall asleep, I usually feel refreshed (once I can pull myself out of bed), but on days like yesterday where I woke up, looked at the clock to read 2:30p then fell right back to sleep until after 3p - I feel totally zonked.  I stumbled out of bed and realize at least one, if not 2 or 3 of them are already awake and starting to get irritated. 
And with the flick of a switch, round 3 begins. 

mischief managed

Okay, so here's the story.  This past Saturday I had meant to take Sheppy to the Urgent Care to get his eyes checked.  Turns out they close really early, so we decided on Sunday after naptime.  That left Tim to take the other 3 with him back to church in the evening and do what he needs to do with the teens.  So, Shep and I went and came back.  

He's got pink-eye in both eyes...and it's simply miserable.  Poor little buddy.  

At any rate, I figured a little Blues Clues would cheer him up.

All my boys like to sit on the coffee table and watch the show.  So, he climbed up there and was quiet as a mouse.

I sat in the kitchen cleaning up, making dinner...or doing something.

....too quiet.

I come in to find Sheppy playing with Vaseline.

Of course as any good parent would, I decided that getting the camera out to video him surely takes prescidence over cleaning him up...

cale's friends

With a school-aged child, we've been getting a lot of new friend's around the house.
Various shapes and sizes...they all go by the same name: germs.

First it was the flu - which caught hold of 1/2 our family.
Tim, Cale & Shepherd.


That was rough, but thankfully it didn't last too long...
Then he brought home "the cold that never ends" - that was about several weeks ago, and seriously, I think Tim got it the longest.  What a pain!
Those germs took out 5 out of the 6 of us.
Megersa ended up missing both!  That kid has a hearty immune system!

Now we've got pink eye.

 Currently the twins have it - and man it looks painful.  You know when your eyes start to water just looking at someone else's?  Oh, yeah, I got that.
So far the adults have been spared.  Megersa had it last week for a day or two, and I feel like Cale had it awhile back....but I can't remember exactly.

It's craziness around here.
Tim and I are battling colds now, but thankfully our eyes are still the right color...

Who knows what else the flu season will bring....hopefully just snow. :)

school status update

Like most of my posts - this one had been started prior to today.
I sometimes like to at least get the title of the post going so that I know what I've been meaning to write about. 
The intention was just to brag on how much Cale has grown in the past few weeks and months, and to state the fun little things he's been learning or doing in relation to school.
...but yesterday that bliss came to a halt.

My son stepped off the bus with a grin from ear to ear.
He was a "Star Student"...and was rewarded with a sticker.
There was no fear in his eyes or uncontrollable crying stating how he'd never wanna ever go back to his school.
His world is a bubble, and I am thankful that his 5-year-old mind does not need to question right now the depravity of man.
But we do. 
And I'm sure all of the parents everywhere but Connecticut awaited their school children with anxious breath, eager to wrap them in a giant hug as they stepped off the bus.

When I read that mainly Kindergarteners...babies like my Cale, were amongst the large number of the dead I could barely breathe.
Even today I can only allow myself to think of this tragedy in tiny little bursts...because my fellas at home need a functioning mother, not one who cannot stop weeping.
But the littles are all down for naps now, and Cale is plugged in to a Christmas movie.
So my brain is free, and my heart is heavy.

The weight of the sin of the world comes crashing in....
God is good.  He orchestrates all things in our lives - do not forget that.
...But he DOES NOT cause us to sin.
Sin is human.
This shooter was human...and in my opinion one of the worst kinds of humans.

I started to form this post in my head while my older sons were playing "bad guys."  No specific persons in mind, just "people who are bad...do bad things."  ...I heard them saying how they will kill these bad guys.  So I took the opportunity to teach them.  We talked...and as simple as I kept it for them to understand that Jesus commands us in the Bible "Do Not Kill'"....I couldn't help but say it without a bitter taste in my mouth.
If it had been MY son at his school......I'm sure I wouldn't be thinking rationally. 
But we need to teach our children that God can redeem any person.
...even a bad guy.  Even someone who kills.
Because God loves them...  He even loved that killer and is even more devastated than we are by this.

This horrific event doesn't make me question God...though I can understand those who do.
Above all it makes me thank God that it wasn't my child.  That it could have just as easily happened to Yellow Springs Elementary and it COULD have been my son.  But I praise God it wasn't.  I get on my knees and plead even harder for the safety of my children.  I try to swallow the lump in my throat and lift up the families of the lost.  I force myself to look at the faces of the people in the pictures...urge myself to live in this world and feel its ache.
I will not pretend my world is full of marshmallows today.

I think we need to talk about it.  To rally around the idea that even at Christmas, this world is fallen.  To take into reality our lives and how fragile they are. To live a life as fully devoted followers of God.  To BRING God into these conversations and defend Him.  To wake up...  To stop complaining about everything that doesn't go our way and to hold tight to the most precious of all gifts - life.
God's life he's given us...but more importantly the lives he's entrusted to us.
Because ultimately, they are His.

God is in control.  But people are lost.  Their sin...our sin pollutes everything.
From a solitary thought that goes astray...to the actions that lead to death.
There is always a progression...but God did NOT cause that.

I don't know how I feel about telling Cale what happened...it's too real to his 5-year-old life. 
I'm not sure he could wrap his head around it today...or tomorrow...or even this year.
His heart is the most fragile of my children it seems his fears take over him.
I think we'll wait.

But even for that I am grateful...that we have that opportunity to shield our children's minds from this world.

Thank you God for sparing my child...I pray these families experience the "peace that passes all understanding."
And I pray unashamed...selfishly...desperately that in this lifetime I will never have to bury one of my children.

Thanksgiving 2012

 

We went to Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving.
Though my mom has made a few changes to the home I grew up in...it really was like going through a time warp as I opened her door.
A 3 1/2 hour drive painfully turned into 5 1/2 - complete with stand-still traffic and many stops to pee and poop.  But, we made it.
The kids had a lot of fun with their cousins and it was great not to have to cook for the weekend!! :)
Above are some of the pics - the big family one has my sister Elizabeth, her husband Chris and their 3 girls - Heather (whom Cale swears he's gonna marry), Tessa and Gwyneth.  My brother Chet and his new wife Jolyn are on the right side in the back.  Grammie taking her usual spot in the middle, surrounded by her grandkids.
We spent Thanksgiving day with my Dad, and got another big family pic of the group there - sadly I don't have that one.
Still though...here is documented proof of our trip. :)  Another memory for 2012.

8 years

Gosh...I feel like I'm working on a hundred projects...and also working on a dozen posts.
Most of them have no "order" but I suppose this one should get bumped to the top, since our anniversary was yesterday.

8 years.
Tim and I got married November 27, 2004.
That's a long time ago, isn't it?
A time BEFORE kids?!.....
A time where our decisions mainly affected just us. 
Hard to remember very clearly.
Well, I definitely can recollect our dating life (which was for 2 1/2 years before we got married), but before then, not much.
I have very vague memories of even being interested in anyone else.  More of just that time in my life - like in 5th grade I had my first little boyfriend - Josh Katyl.  I remember it because people called me Katie Katyl.   ha!
We held hands a few times at lunch until our teacher caught us and we got in trouble....
...shocking how that sounds so scandelous now that I have a school age child.
Yikes.
There will be no hand holding....
No kissing...
Not until marriage. ;)

Anyway...fast forward from my first boyfriend at age 11 to my husband at age 21.
To the man I am deeply, ridiculously in love with.
Above anything else I just want to be with him.  Even if we don't talk or aren't in the same room...just knowing he's there is pretty great.  Pretty dang great. :)
We've shared so much together in these 8 years - including pain and loss...but I would go through it all again because I know at the end there is what there has always been: LOVE.
So much love.
Tim and I started reading (another 'project' in the works) the book "Love and Respect."
Main idea - women want love, men want respect.
Totally makes sense...but it reads in depth how the issue women have is that they don't feel loved.
I can honestly, HONESTLY tell you that I have never felt that.  I never once doubted that Tim was not totally, insanely in love with me.  Even in our worst fights.  So, I suppose I get a little of my mom's strong personality there and act more of a man 'wanting/needing' respect.  lol.

As we approach a new season of life...adjustment to yet another little person in our family, I know that there will be some tough times ahead.
But Tim will always be there for me.
And will always love me.
Almost as much as I love him. ;)
 
Happy Anniversary Timmy! 
You. Complete. Me. ;) 

another dot.

The first recorded "dot" was in March.

Much has changed since then.  I suppose it's time once again, to update the blog's look, and it's pictures, since our children have changed so much.  Also the descriptions of each of our sons has long been outdated.
Here how we described them then:

Cale -
LOVES jumping on our new trampoline, wearing tie dye shirts, telling time, working on his math skills, watching any/all videos of himself and making up elaborate stories with Daddy. DISLKES being left out, when the babies mess up his train tracks, if his food gets cold and being laughed at. CANT SEEM TO REMEMBER TO: pick up clothes he takes off.

Megersa - 
LOVES singing the Veggie Tales theme song, riding his bike, copying Cale's requests, his toy motorcycle, and showing off. DISLIKES bees, being cold, wiping his own nose, and having Cale correct him. SOMETHING WE ARE WAITING FOR HIM TO DO: tell us when he has to go potty.

Thaddeus - 
LOVES walking around, eating paper, climbing steps, drinking out of a sippy cup, and hanging outside with the big boys. DISLIKES when his twin has something he wants, being still, when Daddy tells him no, and being left in church nursery. CURRENTLY WORKING ON: getting him to stop biting us. 

Shepherd - 
LOVES having Mommy rock him to sleep, dancing when he hears music, sitting on the trampoline, making 'snarly' noises with his nose, trying "adult" food, and going for stroller rides. DISLIKES: being strapped into his carseat, getting his hair washed, and when Thad bullies him. EASE FACTOR: 8 out of 10. 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know I say this all the time...but I'll say it again (because this day was looong.  Tim's at a men's retreat until tomorrow night, so I'm certain tomorrow will feel even longer.):
Sometimes the hours and minutes crawl...but when you stop looking at the clock you see the calendar days flying by and how outside the seasons are changing.  My children are problem solving, gaining confidence...gaining weight. ;)  They're learning new things...and as always, proving to Tim and I that with one parenting challenge overcome, another will take it's place.  It's a madhouse around here most of the time...but I suppose I should try to enjoy these crazy days before we really are "Empty Nesters."   ha. ha. ;)

As of a few weeks ago Cale (and the other boys) don't bounce on our trampoline anymore.  Tim and I decided to take it down for the cooler weather and in preparation for Super-storm Sandy.  And to Mommy's disappointment (because of all the rain and sometimes very chilly, windy weather) we don't all go outside as much.  All of them still enjoy watching any type of home movies, especially Cale, but because he is learning to read...we try to involve his new skills during story time at night.
The things he previously disliked, still remain - though he doesn't really play with trains much anymore...and the twins have figured out how to make their own tracks, so it's not as problematic.  I suppose he's improving on picking up his clothes but I still find them laying around all over the house...but it's all about progress, right?  No matter hooooooooooow slooooooow. :)

Megersa still sings all the time, but not much from Veggie Tales these days.  Right now his church class is practicing for the upcoming Christmas program, so we're hearing a lot of holiday songs coming from the bathroom (where he normally sings for us).  I guess I could say that he doesn't copy Cale's request as much...especially now that Cale's in school.  But where one habit rests, another takes its place. The new thing is competition.  I approve when it's "who can pick up the most toys," but when it's "who can eat their food first" (ALWAYS. CALE.) it's pretty much just watching them try and choke themselves for no good reason...  I rarely see him playing with his toy motorcycle anymore because he and the twins really enjoy their train tracks and wooden blocks. 
He still doesn't like being cold, or wiping his nose...it seems as though when we ask him to do something directly (particularly if it's somewhat new or something he hasn't already mastered) he freezes up and just stares at us.  That is his work-in-progress...getting him to pay attention to what he is doing while he is doing it.  I don't think there have been many accidents at all as of recently...but he, like Cale, still usually wait until the very last second to announce that they "HAVE TO GO POOPY!!"

Thad runs now...and he's fast!  I love watching little people run with their tiny little legs.  It's so funny!!  I'm not sure I've seen him eat any paper recently...playdoh, yes...but not paper.  And he walks up and down the steps now like an adult.  We are constantly waiting on bated breath for a scream as he topples down, but when he's determined...he's determined.  MOST of the time our boys play nicely together (usually best when they're split in twos), but I'd have to say that Thad is still our bully.  His new prey?  Cale.  ...I think it's because Cale gives the biggest reaction...though I wish the overall aggression would stop. 
Shepherd and Cale are the thinkers.  They often come up with ideas of things/toys to entertain themselves.  Thad, like Megersa decide "that's a good idea!...now give it to me!!"  T still doesn't like to be left in the church nursery...but it's been a long time since I've been called back to rescue him, so we're making improvement.  And thankfully, the biting phase is long gone. :)

Shepherd doesn't get rocked to sleep...but he does have a major soft spot for Mommy.  I swear, even if this little one in my belly wasn't a girl, I think I'd be satisfied with all the lovin' I get from Sheppy!  He is SUCH a tender heart.  ...it's funny how names go, right?   You name a child something because you like it, but as a newborn, you don't know what his/her personality will be.  And though no one could predict it, I find it so fascinating that sometimes the meaning of the name actually does describe the child.  I could literally picture my Shepherd herding a flock of sheep with tender care. ;)
He does still dance, especially when he has an audience...and it's such a funny little dance - we call it the "Sheppy 2-step" - I'll try to get a video on here as evidence.  
Shepherd no longer fights the car seat, or getting his hair washed and has learned to push back when Thad comes a-bullying.  For his gentle spirit, and the fact that he is not very stubborn, he still remains our easiest baby/toddler.  I suppose only time will tell if this trend remains.

I hope to try to continue this thread of dots throughout the months and years.
I asked my husband if I could get some of my blog printed out in a book - they do that now!  Since I have two previous urls, I'll just split those up into 2 books, and then go year-to-year from then on.  I'm not a scrap-booker...and I don't really journal for myself or to my children...but I THINK this will be an excellent thing to have when they're older.  For blackmail and for "good times." ;)

Sandy - part 1

This post I wrote about a week ago.  
I have to do it in 2 parts, because...though we now have power and our house smells relatively normal, we are still without a functioning basement....  Ugh.  It's been 2 weeks and 1 day.  

So, here's part 1:
Hurricane Sandy hit October 29, 2012.
Well, I actually think she got stripped of the title of "hurricane" but still...it was (and still is in a lot of places) a hot mess.
Last Saturday I started watching the news with regards to where the hurricane will hit, who will be most affected, and what to do.  I went out shopping and got a few essentials.
Then Sunday hit, and for whatever reason a weird sort of panic set in.
I can't say I'm truly scared of much myself...but I am always fearful of things that could potentially harm my children. 
My mind kept jolting back to that minor tremor we felt from the earthquake back in 2011.
Can't remeber the exact date, or where it hit initially, but I do remember how scared Cale was - he came running up from our downstairs basement yelling how he felt the house shake.  Shake it did.  And while I was fairly startled, my 4 year old was petrified.
I kept picturing his little face, and then the faces of all my other children being scared in a storm. 
Then one starts picturing the worst...
There are trees surrounding our property - ones directly by Shepherds room...what if they got knocked down and fell on the house above his room?!
Would my boys all cry when they heard the power of the storm?
As a generous wife, I shared my concerns with my husband who then started his panic mode.
I went out shopping again - but on the Sunday night before the storm - aisles were cleared!  I managed to scrounge up some water, bread, canned goods, and extra flashlights...
Monday it rained. 
Both Tim and I agreed...not so bad...maybe that'd be it?  We could deal with that.
The power went out for about an hour or 2 earlier in the day, but eh...that was nothin.
But it was not over.  It only just began.
Monday night around 9pm our power went out. 
Our sum pump stopped...and within minutes, our basement started to flood.
Going downstairs to assess the damage I had the thought of just bringing up everything we could to save it.  But...our storage/laundry room is PACKED!
It took us a good 3 hours to get all that we could upstairs.  The things I couldn't help him move would have to stay and be replaced if damaged permanently.
Good friends of ours braved the terrible storm to try to give us a generator, but ended up not being able to get TO us - too many power lines and trees down everywhere. 
We were trapped.

(just a little peek of the destruction Sandy did around our place...)

 That night was a tough one.  Cale was up many many times and woke up Thad and Megersa too. 
The temperature dropped dramatically and I was really sorry I didn't bundle the kids up before bed.
We woke up to a basement flooded about 6 inches and some grouchy kids. 
No power means no heat, electricity or water.
...and WHY does everyone have to poop in the AM?  Uck.
Thinking smartly, I had Tim fill the tub with water that we'd just use for flushing.  Good thought, right?
Well, somehow it got drained. 
But...like I said, there was a mini-pool in our basement - so we filled buckets for flushing.
A friend of ours came over early in the morning to see what he could do.  At that point - really nothing, because we had no power or any way of getting the water out of the basement...but he was a super nice guy and got our kids some McDonalds for lunch!
Around lunchtime another friend and his son brought over a generator and helped begin the process of getting the water out of the basement.  The generator was strong enough to power the fridge and the sum-pump, so our food was okay (for the time).
He and his wife offered to take our kids for the day - but we decided it'd be best to keep the twins with us, and just sent the boys over. 
After naptime, we decided we couldn't keep the kids in the cold, cramped house for what seemed to be an endless amount of time...so we took up the offer to stay at the Krops house.
They had power, and 3 extra bedrooms.  The twins know Miss Wendy, so they were happy as clams to be there.  And there we stayed until Friday evening. 
Thank goodness for them.
Tim stayed at the house that first night (yep - in the 40 degree weather) to keep refilling the gas generator. 
And then it broke.

What about our landlords, you say?

We don't technically have landlords.  We are renting a parsonage, but the church hired a management company who are no good perhaps did not see the urgency of our need.  We got a hold of a flood management company to come and make an assessment, but just as they knocked on the door, Tim said that the church called and requested we wait for them to get someone to take a look.  Understandable, but highly annoying.  We still wait for the assessment.
It's suppose to happen tomorrow...........  I'll keep you posted.
We did lose some furniture.  Nothing worth much, bookshelves, entertainement units...  Hopefully we can find some good stuff for free on Craigslist or from friends who were getting rid of stuff.
I'm not terribly worried about that.  I just want that MOLD SMELL GONE!!
Oh, it's not pretty.
We keep the dehumidifiers running now that we have power, but it's not doing anything for the smell.
The flooring is a very outdated linoleum and the walls are wood paneling (are you picturing something sophistaced and beautiful? ;)) so I would really just like them to take it all out and replace it.  ...really would LIKE them to, and really THINK they should.  Two of the doors are warped too, so those definitely need replacing. 
But we shall see.
God is in control...and while the storm was hitting us on Monday night, I couldn't help but thinking - I'm so glad that we can pray to God.  So many people have fear without hope.  And that's gotta feel AWEFUL!! 
Cale was off on Tuesday and Wednesday, but had to go to school on Thursday and Friday - so Tim was running back and forth (the Krops live about 30+ min away from us) to pick him up/drop him off.  The church didn't have power either so he was spending some quality time at Barnes and Noble trying to get some work stuff accomplished too.  And all the while harrassing calling the appropriate people to please come and get things back to normal.
I love him so very much.

The 3 littles and I spent some quality time with Miss Wendy...we even spent Halloween there.  It was so great to spend time with them! 

 

I do know it's terrible that we didn't have our camera, and were only able to get these 2 pics from Wendy...but I promise to dress the other 2 up again and snap a pic.

When we got home I worked tirelessly for a few hours to clean the terrible smelling bathrooms, mop up the dirty floors, and rearrange our basement stuff so that we were still able to maneuver around upstairs and have some places to play.  I managed to get quite a bit accomplished, so it is feeling less crowded and dirty, which I appreciate.
 And that's where we stand right now...waiting.
I suppose I'll just have to keep you posted....fun, no?

Referral-a-versary.

We got Megersa's referral on November 5, 2009.  
Yep, a little late getting to this post...but finding a pic for every month has been a task!

 November 2009 to November 2012. 

We now celebrate the 3 years we've known and loved Megersa.
((1st 4 months in Ethiopia.))

Happy Referral Day sweet boy!!!!
My you have grown! You have taught your Daddy, Mommy and brothers so much about God's love.
You are both a blessing and a challenge - as all your brothers (and I'm sure your sister) are!! :)
Honestly couldn't imagine life without you.